As a follow up to my last post (when I fell in a heap and had a good cry at the fierceness of Van’s mess-making a couple of weeks ago), I wanted to share another glimpse of the inner work that’s going on within Van due to his messes.
A couple of days ago I found Van sitting in front of his pajama basket in his room with books and pajamas being turfed out and put on the floor and bed around him. Yes, at first I thought “Here we go, he’s at it again. More mess, more work for me. I wonder if I can convince him to stop or if I have to wait it out?”. Then I took a breath and I just paused. I paused to watch and trust my child. I asked myself “What could he be getting from this?”, and a moment later the answer showed itself to me. Can you see?
As soon as Van had removed a quantity of stuff from the basket which satisfied him, he had began to place each item back in. He was reverse messing! 😉 Van needed to create some disorder so that he could again create order. I’m so glad I paused and trusted him long enough not to intervene before he had the opportunity to re-order his pajama basket for himself. That was his work, not mine.